Caps and the Carnage
Posted By: Chuckles
Date: 18 September 2004, 8:24 AM
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I wrote this parody for the Grand Rapids Frag Pile leading up to a CTF match against the Noobian Starfighters (nice guys, so don't laugh at the name). They had previously played four of our newer players and had beat them. They offered to play again, and this time we had Lexicus, me, Turpertrator, Hogg, and Ydnar on the team as well (you know these guys if you read my ficts) and we beat them 8-0. They were great sports, and they played better than their score shows. This song is a bit old for some of you, but hey, it's a classic.
Caps and the Carnage (a parody of Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin)
A challenge arrived just the other day
They came to the party in the usual way
But there were flags to cap and LANs to play
They beat some guys while I was away
And they were talkin' 'fore I knew it, as noobies do
They said "We wanna frag you too, yeah
You know we're gonna frag you too"
And the caps and the carnage and the Halo moon
Team killing nOObs in their warthog crew
Gonna try to cap, lad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
We accepted the challenge just the other day
"To the tanks and the hogs lads, come on let's play"
"Want the respawns to grow?" They said "Not today"
"We've gotta lot of noobs" I said "That's okay"
And we began the game, but their smiles never dimmed
They said "We're gonna cap and win, yeah
We know we're gonna cap and win"
And the caps and the carnage and the Halo moon
Team killing nOObs in their warthog crew
Gonna try to cap, lad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
Well we dealt out some carnage just the other day
So much like a spank I just had to say
"Son, you guys are nOObs, should you game with the Pile?"
He nodded his head and said with a smile
"What we'd really like, Chuck, is a Sidewinder map key."
Where's the blue base, can you show us please?"
And the caps and the carnage and the Halo moon
Team killing nOObs in their warthog crew
Gonna try to cap, lad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
My gun's just been fired, and the nOOb's blown away
We kicked their butts in a wicked way
They said, "Another respawn screen, I'll lose my mind!"
I said, "I love to frag, but can you lose the whine?"
"You see you can't use the pistol, and you're flat-footed too"
"But it's sure nice walking on you, lads"
"It's been real nice teaching you school."
When I saw the carnage report, it was clear to me
Why I'd heard them scream
Screaming at the respawn screen
And the caps and the carnage and the Halo moon
Team killing nOObs in their warthog crew
Gonna try to cap, lad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
C.T. Clown
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