halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Forgotten Soldiers part 1'



saturn
12:00 am | January 1, 1970
that paragraph made me more dizzy than a slipstream jump. break em up and elaborate. You have good potential, nice detail mentioning the rogue mercs. break it up and spread it out.
Sarge
12:00 am | January 1, 1970
Massing paragraphs scare me format it than all read it.
Dispraiser
12:00 am | January 1, 1970
Yeah, but I had a hard time switching from when you summarized the previous events and when you began to go to the current time at the wraith period. But yeah, stick a paragraph there and you sould be fine.
el_halo_diablo
12:00 am | January 1, 1970
there's a thing called paragraphing, you should use it. Oh an Tay Tay, is your name taylor?
TayTay
12:00 am | January 1, 1970
Yeah, your story is really good. Nice length, realism and few typos. Good job, keep em coming.
August Winterman
12:00 am | January 1, 1970
Nice story, has real potential to go far. I cannot wait till the rest of it.


bungie.org