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Comments for 'The Rebel: Window of Opportunity' |
Elfster
1:35 am | October 15, 2003
Lol dont have a big name? I didn't want to resort to bragging to were you on the front page of HBO?
Ohwell.. Shouldn't have said that so sorry, but Im not in a good mood.
Actually the second chapter DID explain it, and it IS explained later and the 4th chapter is supposed to come out the next fanfic batch...hopefully
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Havok
1:17 am | October 15, 2003
Sarge, you're a good guy.
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Sarge
12:34 am | October 15, 2003
One thing I noticed is add a bit more detail...
Now you might of just written it the way you did because I dont know... but I write stuff weird sometimes but... I found myself going huh in the first part...
Now before you say but but ITS EXPLAINED LATER READ THE STORY DIP URG!!!!?!!!!?!?!?!!?!?
That might turn people away with a bad opening, seeing as many people here don't read the stories unless there sucked in or the author has a big name... Since you don't you prolly need to suck them in with good writing... Then again it is explained but I think you might have gotten more readers...
But what do I know I haven't posted in months...
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FOrunnER
2:06 am | October 14, 2003
Yeh, I meant firefight.
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Elfster
10:24 pm | October 13, 2003
Well, the first group of Spartans practically all died, they arent gonna hesitate to train another as fast as possible.
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Nemesis
7:14 pm | October 13, 2003
it was good...Ishkabibbl put up a good point, but other than that, well done 9/10
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Ishkabibbl
4:21 pm | October 13, 2003
Why would they give young spartans their armor so soon?
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Elfster
4:03 am | October 13, 2003
lol than you should have read the second chapter =)
If you mean fire-fight battle, im working on it.
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FOrunnER
3:21 am | October 13, 2003
Great, I wanna see what these guys are like when there in battle.
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