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Comments for 'The Adventures of Alpha Squad, One'



Hunter_Killer
12:00 am | September 19, 2003
Nice to meet you too, SHogun. =p
SHogun
10:33 pm | September 18, 2003
LMAO! you get a .ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo1
monitor101
9:39 pm | September 18, 2003
Yah I agree with the other people your story was a little lacking in detail but it was awesome 9/10 your one of the best authors here.
Walker
9:00 pm | September 18, 2003
You don't know how happy that makes me, H_K.
,
7:37 pm | September 18, 2003
,
Hunter_Killer
7:06 pm | September 18, 2003
Thanks to all! =)

A Series of Wierd Events will be added to soon...
pooman
6:56 pm | September 18, 2003
good 10/10
Sergeant B
6:30 pm | September 18, 2003
Agree with all! Great job Hunter_Killer!
Wado
5:02 pm | September 18, 2003
Scratch one gold Elite [does calculations], okay, 999,999,999 to go. :)

Very cool story, a good portrayal of gaining small victories in a losing war (i.e., hit and run warfare).

You can do a lot with this type of story.

Only suggestion I have is that you could have mentioned something about Peters' sniper rifle near the beginning so that when you say he modified it at the end it doesn't just seem like extra (unnecessary) information. Something at the beginning of the story like, "this would be the first time Peters used his sniper rifle in combat since he modified it. Normally enhancing weapons was against regulations but everyone did it, to get a edge in combat. The zoom was a bit too quick, but he could adjust that later..."

Well I hope I make sense here. Keep it up. Later.
Hikaru-119
3:23 pm | September 18, 2003
It seemed to lack a bit of detail that is generally nice to have in a story. Other than that I think you did a good job on this one.
Walker
11:40 am | September 18, 2003
Good, good, good. Just thought I ought to tell you that it's not "grew near", it's "drew near". Maybe you can say it either way, but that's how they've always said it down here. Btw, when are you gonna finish ASOWE? Don't tell me you've abandoned it...

9.4/10

Semper Fi

-Walker
Hunter_Killer
10:08 am | September 18, 2003
So, tell me how it went?


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